Sports, the Universe & a Healthy Dose of Cynicism in Portland

Trailblazers Rule, Zombie Derrick Rose, NBA refs suck

Stop saying I can’t shoot

I’m not going to say I saw it coming.

But Derrick Rose’s injury goes so much father than a simple MCL tear. Shit’s real.

In all seriousness, you hate to see bad things happen to good people.

I feel for Derrick. I feel for any NBA player who wears Dr. Dre Beats headphones.

$226+ for 3 star headphones that need batteries? Has anybody in the NBA heard of CNet? Do you not care about quality? Better bang for you buck? Seriously, I don’t get it.

Hopefully W-W-Z-D-Rose takes his time with the MCL tear and doesn’t choose to shave his MCL off like D-Wayde and come back in 3 weeks.

Just take a few months,Derrick. You are the NBA’s future. Assuming you’re not the sub-10 PER guy you were this year. Your team will be okay. They’ve got Luol.

The Trailblazers beat the Warriors. I wanted that to happen. I can also pretend – since I live in Portland – that I always cared about the Blazers. I didn’t. I do now.

They’re actually a real team and it’s a great excuse to drink alone and #tweet about basketball to my 1 Twitter follower!

But — if you didn’t see them hand it to Golden State — here’s what you need to know:

NBA refs suck. They are a joke, and they will do whatever they can, at any cost, to involve themselves in a game beyond a normal athletic disciplinary level.

If that means tech-ing some dude who tried to stop Andrew Bogut from punching like six other dudes in the face, they’ll do it.

Wesley-I’m-a-top-20-player-in-the-NBA-Matthews went 8-9 in 25 minutes and inexplicably got his 2nd technical in a good ol’ scuffle. No one else was disciplined in # a pointless exercise which should become the new #hashtag for NBA refs.

If you played Wesley’s game tape beside Steph Curry’s and blurred out their faces, bodies, the way the ball rotated, and the way they moved around the court, I swear, you’d have mistaken the two. Matthews was pretty spectacular.

Klay Thompson fouled out in a total gem. He scored 30 points in 27 minutes! Most of his fouls were, you know, not actually fouls, but okay, whatever.

He made everyone forget that he averages 2.2 FTs and – at 6’7” – under 3 rebounds a game.

Even Steph gets over 3.

C’mon Klay.

Anyways, sometimes referees manage to remove the best players on both teams, so kudos to them.

The NBA — where referees happen.

There ended up being 150-plus FT’s, turnovers and fouls in the game, which is, sadly, impossible. But it happened anyway.

The Blazers pulled away with bad calls good defense, timely shots, and general cohesion, despite missing their capn’ and general, Wesley.

Oh, and 19 foul shots from LaMarcus Aldridge.

Look, the Blazers aren’t going to win any championships this year. They probably wouldn’t beat Golden State in a playoff series. Maybe. I’m not sure.

Andre Igoduala didn’t play, after all. And he’d probably shut down Wes.

But maybe Wes is secretly the Oregonian Trojan Horse sent out to distract the other team’s best defender while Robin Lopez slays everything.

Anyway, that’s all.

Good Sunday to everyone.


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